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twilightscribe) wrote2013-12-21 03:47 am
twilightscribe) wrote2013-12-21 03:47 am
fight fear (worth it every time)
Notes: Written for assistedrealityinterface and a tumblr prompt meme. Feel free to leave them in my ask box.
Title: fight fear (worth it every time)
Fandom: The Avengers
Pairing: Steve/Tony; implied Thor/Bruce
Words: 1297 words
Prompt: questioning
fight fear (worth it every time)
One thing that Tony hadn't expected was that Bruce was going to come to him after his pretty disastrous first Drift with Thor – well, that wasn't entirely true. He'd figured Bruce would come, but he'd thought it would be for reassurance – because Steve and he nearly tore through the entirety of the Shatterdome their first time in a Jaeger together and chased the R.A.B.I.T. – and not that Bruce would be coming to him about the Ghosts.
Steve's a comforting presence in his mind; mingling with his and Tony's not always sure where his mind ends and Steve's begins, because Steve is always just there. He's this comforting warmth and strength that acts like a lightning rod for Tony's thoughts that are always running a mile a minute. Steve's the calm island at the centre of Tony's maelstrom; they work best like that.
The Ghosts have always been strong, even days after a Drift. They've only gotten stronger. Thoughts. Words. Concepts. It's always fragmented but they know each other so well, so intimately, that it's hard to tell what's being said out loud and what's passing between them.
Bruce comes in, shy and nervous, and asks about the Ghosts. Tony's never really liked to talk about them; they're personal and something that he and Steve share alone. Tony's selfish and doesn't want to let anyone else have it.
But Bruce looks so terrified and nervous that Tony opens his mouth anyway.
“It's sort of like a constant feedback loop,” Tony says. “Steve's the more grounded one, so I sort of revolve around that – I don't think a lot of people would want to share headspace with me, but that's kind of what it is. He's a part of me and I'm a part of him and that's actually really creepy but it's hard to put into words, you know?”
“Was it always like that?” Bruce shifts from foot to foot. He's got the look on his face of someone who's distracted by something and there are questions bubbling up but Tony squashes them down. Now's not the time for that.
“Not at first. But the more often we Drifted and the more stable our Neural Handshake was, the stronger it got and it's always going to be stronger right after a Drift, but now it's sort of settled into this weird stability of a feedback loop. There's a lot of words, concepts. We don't necessarily get emotions, but that's kind of not needed when he knows me so well and I know him.”
“So it's... more telepathic than empathic?”
“Something like that; if you want to talk about really empathic Ghosts, then you'd wanna talk to Blackhawk's command crew cause that's more what theirs are like. You know, we all traded notes just to see, but the Ghosts are pretty different. Rhodey's not Ghosting with Sif very much, they've just got vague impressions – or that's what they say, at least.”
Bruce bites his lip and looks down; his eyes keep flicking to the side, like he's arguing with himself. Tony nudges him, setting aside the tablet that he's been tinkering with some of Glory's code on.
“Okay, you gotta spill cause this isn't just coming out of sheer scientific curiosity.”
Tony really wishes he had a camera on hand, because Bruce looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming semi; wide eyes and looking like he's about to bolt for the safest place he can think of that is anywhere then where Tony is.
“I... I can feel Thor,” Bruce says, in a rush. He gestures at his head, “I can feel him and sometimes I can hear him; it's not always clear unless I concentrate or he's deliberate about it, but he's just... there. I didn't – I wasn't sure – is that normal?”
Tony does a tally in his head of the hours since their Drift. It's been over twelve. The Ghosts should've started to fade by now.
“Is it any weaker now than it was earlier?”
“N-no, it's been consistent. I mean, it's nothing like the Drift, but he's just there and sometimes I get vague impressions of what he's doing.”
Tony's not stupid, he's done the research and the reading. He knows that Ghosting isn't really something that's really understood other than that it's a consequence of Drifting and the stronger the Neural Handshake, often the more potent the Ghosting. But it's never the same experience for any pair of co-pilots and it's not something they like to talk about.
But he knows that if Thor and Bruce are Ghosting already, after one Drift, and they're still so strong even after twelve hours, that it's promising. They're probably the most compatible team they've got on hand now. It's a good start, and Tony knows that they shouldn't be grounded indefinitely (and they won't be, because Thor's the strongest candidate they've had since Steve and he's proven to be infinitely more difficult to find compatible partners with, so Bruce is fucking lucky).
Tony also knows that Bruce is afraid and unsure and doesn't feel like he should be a part of this. All of them are too aware of how Marshall Ross had treated Bruce before he'd been transferred to them – oh sure, no one talked about it, but most of them knew, or at least had some idea.
The man should be glad he's a continent away and doesn't have to face down one pissed off Thor. And he wouldn't be alone, because Bruce is completely endearing to almost everyone he meets and the other pilots all like him a lot.
Taking a deep breath, Tony just says, “It's not bad. If you're Ghosting already and it's still that strong, then it's a good thing – means you're really compatible. Ghosting's pretty useful when you're trying to make a steady Neural Handshake.”
“What–? I nearly blew up the Shatterdome!”
“And Steve and I nearly tore through it the first time we Dropped,” Tony says simply. He picks his tablet up again; there's footage somewhere and he could show Bruce, but that might be too soon. “We both chased the R.A.B.I.T that first time and there was no one to pull either of us back until they pulled the plug and emergency shut downs. War Machine had to hold us back otherwise we would've destroyed the entire thing.”
For several long moments, there's silence. Bruce has his hands tightly clenched in fists on his lap while he stares at the floor. He doesn't say anything for the longest time.
“Thor pulled me back,” Bruce says, softly. “He broke through it somehow and pulled me back. But... I'm afraid that if we do try again... that I won't be able to come back and I'll drag him into it.”
Tony snorts, “You're selling yourself short; you're a lot stronger than you think you are. And Thor's certainly not gonna let you just give up now. The guy's already sworn that he's not gonna let anyone else be his co-pilot but you.”
That takes Bruce by surprise. He snaps his mouth closed with an audible click and looks away, but Tony notices that his cheeks are a lot redder than they were a few seconds ago. Tony just smiles and scrolls through Glory's code until he finds the area that he was tweaking and sets back to work.
“Honestly Bruce, you shouldn't worry too much about the Ghosting – it's a good sign. If Drifting was easy, everyone would do it and we might know a lot more about it. But we don't. You should just go with it. Things'll get easier with more training and experience. You'll see.”
Tony really hopes he doesn't have to eat those words, but if the read-outs are anything to go by, well, they've got one more perfect Jaeger team to add to their corner. The kaiju don't stand a chance.
FIN.
Title: fight fear (worth it every time)
Fandom: The Avengers
Pairing: Steve/Tony; implied Thor/Bruce
Words: 1297 words
Prompt: questioning
One thing that Tony hadn't expected was that Bruce was going to come to him after his pretty disastrous first Drift with Thor – well, that wasn't entirely true. He'd figured Bruce would come, but he'd thought it would be for reassurance – because Steve and he nearly tore through the entirety of the Shatterdome their first time in a Jaeger together and chased the R.A.B.I.T. – and not that Bruce would be coming to him about the Ghosts.
Steve's a comforting presence in his mind; mingling with his and Tony's not always sure where his mind ends and Steve's begins, because Steve is always just there. He's this comforting warmth and strength that acts like a lightning rod for Tony's thoughts that are always running a mile a minute. Steve's the calm island at the centre of Tony's maelstrom; they work best like that.
The Ghosts have always been strong, even days after a Drift. They've only gotten stronger. Thoughts. Words. Concepts. It's always fragmented but they know each other so well, so intimately, that it's hard to tell what's being said out loud and what's passing between them.
Bruce comes in, shy and nervous, and asks about the Ghosts. Tony's never really liked to talk about them; they're personal and something that he and Steve share alone. Tony's selfish and doesn't want to let anyone else have it.
But Bruce looks so terrified and nervous that Tony opens his mouth anyway.
“It's sort of like a constant feedback loop,” Tony says. “Steve's the more grounded one, so I sort of revolve around that – I don't think a lot of people would want to share headspace with me, but that's kind of what it is. He's a part of me and I'm a part of him and that's actually really creepy but it's hard to put into words, you know?”
“Was it always like that?” Bruce shifts from foot to foot. He's got the look on his face of someone who's distracted by something and there are questions bubbling up but Tony squashes them down. Now's not the time for that.
“Not at first. But the more often we Drifted and the more stable our Neural Handshake was, the stronger it got and it's always going to be stronger right after a Drift, but now it's sort of settled into this weird stability of a feedback loop. There's a lot of words, concepts. We don't necessarily get emotions, but that's kind of not needed when he knows me so well and I know him.”
“So it's... more telepathic than empathic?”
“Something like that; if you want to talk about really empathic Ghosts, then you'd wanna talk to Blackhawk's command crew cause that's more what theirs are like. You know, we all traded notes just to see, but the Ghosts are pretty different. Rhodey's not Ghosting with Sif very much, they've just got vague impressions – or that's what they say, at least.”
Bruce bites his lip and looks down; his eyes keep flicking to the side, like he's arguing with himself. Tony nudges him, setting aside the tablet that he's been tinkering with some of Glory's code on.
“Okay, you gotta spill cause this isn't just coming out of sheer scientific curiosity.”
Tony really wishes he had a camera on hand, because Bruce looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming semi; wide eyes and looking like he's about to bolt for the safest place he can think of that is anywhere then where Tony is.
“I... I can feel Thor,” Bruce says, in a rush. He gestures at his head, “I can feel him and sometimes I can hear him; it's not always clear unless I concentrate or he's deliberate about it, but he's just... there. I didn't – I wasn't sure – is that normal?”
Tony does a tally in his head of the hours since their Drift. It's been over twelve. The Ghosts should've started to fade by now.
“Is it any weaker now than it was earlier?”
“N-no, it's been consistent. I mean, it's nothing like the Drift, but he's just there and sometimes I get vague impressions of what he's doing.”
Tony's not stupid, he's done the research and the reading. He knows that Ghosting isn't really something that's really understood other than that it's a consequence of Drifting and the stronger the Neural Handshake, often the more potent the Ghosting. But it's never the same experience for any pair of co-pilots and it's not something they like to talk about.
But he knows that if Thor and Bruce are Ghosting already, after one Drift, and they're still so strong even after twelve hours, that it's promising. They're probably the most compatible team they've got on hand now. It's a good start, and Tony knows that they shouldn't be grounded indefinitely (and they won't be, because Thor's the strongest candidate they've had since Steve and he's proven to be infinitely more difficult to find compatible partners with, so Bruce is fucking lucky).
Tony also knows that Bruce is afraid and unsure and doesn't feel like he should be a part of this. All of them are too aware of how Marshall Ross had treated Bruce before he'd been transferred to them – oh sure, no one talked about it, but most of them knew, or at least had some idea.
The man should be glad he's a continent away and doesn't have to face down one pissed off Thor. And he wouldn't be alone, because Bruce is completely endearing to almost everyone he meets and the other pilots all like him a lot.
Taking a deep breath, Tony just says, “It's not bad. If you're Ghosting already and it's still that strong, then it's a good thing – means you're really compatible. Ghosting's pretty useful when you're trying to make a steady Neural Handshake.”
“What–? I nearly blew up the Shatterdome!”
“And Steve and I nearly tore through it the first time we Dropped,” Tony says simply. He picks his tablet up again; there's footage somewhere and he could show Bruce, but that might be too soon. “We both chased the R.A.B.I.T that first time and there was no one to pull either of us back until they pulled the plug and emergency shut downs. War Machine had to hold us back otherwise we would've destroyed the entire thing.”
For several long moments, there's silence. Bruce has his hands tightly clenched in fists on his lap while he stares at the floor. He doesn't say anything for the longest time.
“Thor pulled me back,” Bruce says, softly. “He broke through it somehow and pulled me back. But... I'm afraid that if we do try again... that I won't be able to come back and I'll drag him into it.”
Tony snorts, “You're selling yourself short; you're a lot stronger than you think you are. And Thor's certainly not gonna let you just give up now. The guy's already sworn that he's not gonna let anyone else be his co-pilot but you.”
That takes Bruce by surprise. He snaps his mouth closed with an audible click and looks away, but Tony notices that his cheeks are a lot redder than they were a few seconds ago. Tony just smiles and scrolls through Glory's code until he finds the area that he was tweaking and sets back to work.
“Honestly Bruce, you shouldn't worry too much about the Ghosting – it's a good sign. If Drifting was easy, everyone would do it and we might know a lot more about it. But we don't. You should just go with it. Things'll get easier with more training and experience. You'll see.”
Tony really hopes he doesn't have to eat those words, but if the read-outs are anything to go by, well, they've got one more perfect Jaeger team to add to their corner. The kaiju don't stand a chance.
FIN.